Only two topics on HN today fighting for the most sensationalist upvotes, accurately summed up by a dimly-aware HNer: “The UK and USA engaged in a fierce battle of ‘hold my beer’.” The irony that this is exactly what happens on HN seems to escape him though.
In the one corner, we have blatantly partisan trash, at the top of the frontpage, proudly showing how the New York Times has given up on relevant journalism, and has relaxed into tabloid-tier clickbait shitposting. Another thread turns into an all-out scapegoat hunt, interspersed with tangentially related misconceptions on what a VPN exactly does.
In the other corner, Brexit is rehashed for approximatley the billionth time and milked to death for clicks. HN decides to once more put on display its understanding of geopolitics, because it has read a blog post about Machiavelli once. Nothing of substance gets added to either discussion. The horse has been beaten to atomic dust, but HN will be damned if it gives up on continuing the aimless motions.

Despite having had its recommended dose of Muskposting this week regarding brain hacks, HN binges on another post regarding Chinese investment in Tesla. Instead of worrying about the second coming of the redcoats, HN discusses stock investment strategies, despite never having invested in anything beyond tears in their failed startups. Unsatisfied by the fact that this topic is still tangentially related to the original submission, a bunch of frustrated Europeans start bitching about the projected price of Tesla’s, and the relation to their econo-shitboxes. Some reddit-tier *cent puns are blasted into oblivion. A jobless developer comments pretending to understand Tesla’s corporate strategy. HN goes to sleep staisfied, knowing another day well-wasted.

I’m a terrible writer and I this is just one more blog in a series of abandoned ones. I firmly believe in making commitments which you never intend to follow, so guess what. Federal regulations force me to inform you of the fact you’ll probably get brain cancer from all the memes posted here. Redirect complaints to admin@malvager.net or try eating a bullet.